It is that time of year again, where retail assistants work furiously for minimum wage, and deal with the onslaught of stressed out customers rushing to find last minute gifts. Now, annually in my 5 years of retail, this is where i get my customer complaints….and to be honest I couldn’t care less. Now, that’s because every year i deal with the same types of customers:
- The lazy ones -No one wants to work in a mall till midnight because people can’t find the time to do their shopping.
- The victims - This the start to the ridiculous Xmas demands. Yes it is my fault their are no sizes left (i purposely go out of my way to sell your child’s size).
- The selfish - Those customers who demand your 100% undivided attention while the store is brimming full of custies. Of course you are the most important person in the world.bastards.
- The needy - Learn how to dress yourself, it’s called a fucking Cosmo. I don’t have time for your concerns of cellulite or image problems.
- The xmas spirited customers - Do not wear xmas tree drop down earrings…because of your excitement for this holiday, i work xmas eve & boxing day :)
- The xmas hagglers - Don’t be a poor bitch, pay the asking price.
- The boxing day monsters - it’s sweaty, packed, tensions are running high, my gritted teeth cages my forked tongue that is aching to be let out and commence the tongue lashing.
So in all, i only want one thing this year for you all to not fall into anyone of these categories.
Merry Xmas :)
—I'm Not Dead